Editor's Letter: 'Pap sent me to the ER'

You can take the boy out of Limpopo, but you can’t take Limpopo out of the boy. For clarity, I’m the boy. I will always be a villager at heart, so today I have to own that, when they say “bo-mma”, they’re referring to me. I’ve got the scar to prove it.  

A week before taking my Ed’s letter pic I suffered a minor — and amusing — injury. It’s hard to ignore the evidence when it’s a burn mark lodged in the middle of my forehead. It was a freak accident, after a night of groove. I wish I could excuse it with, “I fell when drunk and bruised myself,” maybe that would be less embarrassing and more acceptable. Perhaps I’d keep my street cred intact. But instead, I was injured by pap — the creamy, buttery, delicious family staple. Yes, don’t mess with Pedi people and our love for pap — although it ended in tears this time.  

It was a wild night and the champagne was flowing like the river Nile — clink, clink, cheers! Then, in-between, nibbling on bite-sized party appetisers. The vibez were giving. The dance floor got lit or, rather, I was lit, so much so that, at the peak of it all, I jumped into the DJ booth of former SMag cover star Lamiez Holworthy and we proceeded to break down a few moves. The receipts are on my Instagram page. What jam was playing? The yanos remix of African Vibe PT 2 by late Limpopo treasure Peta Teanat.  

When I got home just after midnight my feet were sore, so I took off my shoes. Next my boozy cravings demanded pap, so I quickly boiled water in a saucepan. This is when it started to go south. I made my first amateur mistake by setting the stove at max since I was in a hurry — you always reduce the heat to medium-low, right? But I was tipsy and common sense failed to prevail. I began to pour the maize meal gradually into the water, whisking vigorously. Before I knew it a small blob escaped from the pot, resulting in hot porridge scalding my forehead. OUCH! There I was, at 1am, starring in the pilot episode of “Pap Sent Me to the ER”.

For the next week, the real bruise was to my ego, especially since every time I entered a room I was greeted with, “What happened?” Then I had to narrate the idiotic story — repeatedly. Nobody pitied me, instead I was met with titters (I’d laugh too). But I refuse to feel sorry for myself anymore, I love pap unapologetically. The scarring faded within a week or so because my skincare routine is popping. But my love for pap is forever. My favourite homegrown delicacy is pap with mopane worms stewed in tomato relish and extra chilli. Then add atchar on the side — it slaps. That’s the secret to my heart — I’d probably propose marriage. 

Welcome to our annual Heritage issue. We are celebrating everything that makes us proudly and uniquely South African — our food, language, fashion, culture, music, and so much more. We are honouring the evolution of female musicians with our cover stars Yvonne Chaka Chaka and Nomcebo Zikode. And while we remain an English publication, vernacular plays a huge role in this issue. We are paying homage to our indigenous languages, starting with the cover lines “Seponono sa dikoti marameng” and “Phuma langa sikothe”, both colloquially used to show appreciation for the beauty of an African woman. Inside you’ll find a recurring theme of vernacular in the headlines. 

Growing up in the small village of Ramogwerane, we predominately spoke Sepedi and every woman wanted to be called “seponono”. But the first “seponono” who took my breath away was Bonnie Mbuli playing Zandi in soapie Backstage. Her stunning bald look beautifully emphasised her striking facial features. She was even more gorgeous when I later met her in my professional life. Mbuli is currently in Hollywood and will next star in TV drama The Driver as a series regular opposite Giancarlo Esposito (Better Call Saul). 

After high school, I moved to the township of Tembisa, where I learnt to be street smart. I got a crash course in kasi lifestyle, whose influence has formed the backbone of local pop culture, fashion, music, filmmaking, and more. Kota is my favourite kasi meal. I always order “last number” on the menu, the greasy Russian sausage is yummy. I also don’t understand kota that went to private school. Why include a burger patty or mince in kota? La bhora!  

Whether you are rocking out at the DStv Delicious International Food & Music Festival, catching Burna Boy live at FNB Stadium or attending Joy of Jazz, enjoy the warmer days. What bangers are currently on my spring playlist? DJ Stokie (Awukhuzeki), Tyla (Water), Uncle Waffles (Peacock Revisit), and DJ Kent (Horns in the Sun).